Every year like clockwork, two-thirds of the way through the season, I go through the same emotional roller coaster where I find myself telling my partner “I’m not coaching next year, I’ve had enough”. And as always I get through it, finish the season, and am already excited and planning for next season.
There’s a great mantra I turn to that helps me subtly shift my perspective, and helps get me out of my rut.
“I get to!” not “I have to”
This reframing is particularly useful with youth football/soccer coaching, a role teeming with unseen pressures and expectations, large chunks of time out of your personal life, taking abuse from parents, and missing out on weekend activities in order for some kids to enjoy football. Yet, when we pause and tilt our perspective, we uncover the profound privilege nestled within.
Imagine waking up with the thought, “I have to coach today.” It feels heavy, a duty rather than a joy. Now, let’s shift that narrative to, “I get to coach today.” Suddenly, the weight lifts, replaced by a sense of opportunity and gratitude. This isn’t just a subtle play on words; it’s a fundamental change in how we view our role as coaches.
We’re not just teaching kids how to pass a ball, make a tackle, or score goals. We’re guiding them through life’s early lessons, away from the constant buzz and glare of screens that define much of their existence. In our hands lies the opportunity to instil values of teamwork, discipline, respect, and the pure joy of play. It’s a chance to connect these young souls to something tangible, real, and profoundly human.
In this era, where digital connections often supplant genuine human interaction, the football field becomes a sanctuary. Here, we get to show them a world where success isn’t measured in likes or follows but in effort, growth, and the camaraderie that comes from being part of a team. We get to watch them disconnect from the digital and reconnect with the physical—running, laughing, and learning in the most organic way possible. And for some, it can be the only part of their life where they feel part of a team.
Consider the unique position we’re in, where our influence extends beyond the game. We’re entrusted with shaping individuals through the beautiful game, who will carry these lessons into adulthood. The privilege to be a part of their journey, to be a beacon of guidance, trust, and encouragement, is something truly special.
So, as we prepare for the next practice, the next game, or the next season, let’s embrace this shift in perspective. Let’s move from the burden of “I have to” to the blessing of “I get to.” How fortunate we are to play such a pivotal role in these young lives, offering them a reprieve from the stress and connectivity that envelope their world, and guiding them in discovering the beauty and joy of football.
